In Need of Updating

Well I feel better. Not so much all better, I dont like myself yet, but I feel better :-)
Yesterday was awesome. We all went to Morrit's place, and we just sat there and chilled out and drank some Port that my mother lovingly provided. She's so cool. I love my mummy. Anyways back to Josh's. Twas fun. We all had a go at cooking. Somehow Josh Taylor ...burn gravy... We not know never to let Taylor near a kitchen again. Hayley came over for a couple of hours YAY :-)
We went down to hungry's at like 9.30. It was fun, Luke bought us all food. :-) Luke's the best he has money and he's not a stingy ass. Its good there are some nice people in the worlkd. I got myself one of them :-) Anyways Haylz and I went on the playground and it was fun. But I spilt my drink on it :'( Then Josh and I went back to the playground lol yay. Twas fun. I got myself a Hungry Jacks party hat, and we left.
We got back to Josh's and we just chilled around, had coffee al round, then Hayley had to go. BOO!!! :'(
We all got the beds ready... well, blankets and pillows and made space on the floor. Closed up the house, chose a playlist on the comp and then all in a row lay down. From the couch to the tv it went Luke me Morrit Jamie and then Josh Taylor. We didnt really sleep. The music was too loud and distracting. Also it was REALLY uncomfy. I blame Josh M for that. Well everyone seemed to have fun. even thought I am FUCKING TIRED.

Luke and I are going really well. I like whats going on. :-D But I am worried that he's going to get sick of me some time soon. And I don't want that to happen.

Schools good. I think I am going to do well this term, I did last term. Mms letting me get a job yeah! WOO!! I gotta make my résumé good though. I cant wait. Well I am rather tired. I think I should leave this heere for now, I can update again later.

bye all
Love you all
Candy
xoxoxo

Boredom and self loathing

Well today's been a major bore. I have done shit all. The high point of the day was having a 2 hour bath.... doesnt that just sound boring in itself?
I got a 14 hour sleep so that was good, but thats about it. I sat on the net and played some online game for a while and I was on MSN but no one was online, or talking really. Sucked alot.
I'm getting really depressed about myself. And I don't know why. I just dont like anything about me, and it sucks. I'm scared of loosing Luke coz he'll think its some sort of attention seeking thing, and I am NOT like that at all.
Others probably think that I am jsut bitching for attention aswell. I hate it all. My home life sucks there's never anything to do unless other people are here. Mums never home either, she lost her job. She's never home, she's out with her sister visiting my dying uncle... he has a brain tumor. It sucks, she's always out now and I'm normally home alone. I dont like being alone. it scares me sometimes, not being alone just the fact that there's no one to talk to or anything. thats why if anyone see's me online alot, thats why I am.
Mums always complaining I am online too much, but I dont see any other way to contact people. My mates arnt really phone people, and they arnt allowed out much, if I'm not already out with them all the time.
I dont know what to do any more. I cant wait to go back to school. To be around every one again. Shall be good. Will someone explain to me why I am all down on myself? please?

Candy
xoxoxo