at school
Well I always seem to do these kinds of blogs at school.
I have another rant and rave of how I'm feeling, and thats completely crap. I just want it to be Sunday, ffs. Why must I always torture myself with so many emotions, so many feelings. I have my necklace back from Ryan, we swapped back at lunch today. And we talked. And he told me he likes this girl he's always liked from Maryborough, and he told how he wanted them to go out , and how he wanted them to work, and that they may go to the same uni. and that really makes me feel like shit. its been two days and he's over me? LAST NIGHT HE TOLD ME HE STILL LOVED ME. My god. What do I do, I almost cried before.
My Cutting is getting worse. heaps worse
I just want it to stop, I wanna be able to stop cutting. I dont think I can, its starting to get normal again, I dont want to be how I was, I dont want to turn out like Lisa, or Jamie, or someone who relies on cutting every day. I am starting to scare myself. I need to get out, I need to go places, I dont want to be home anymore. I go home to an empty house 4 days a week. I sit on the computer, doing nothing, I play guitar all the time too, but thats about all.
I sit home alone 4 nights a week, on the computer playing guitar and cutting
wow eventful
doesnt sound that great to me
I want it to be sunday, I just want it to be sunday right now. On Sunday I am going to the city and spending time with Luke, I hope. I want to so bad. I am so thinking about wagging a whole day and just going to the city, hey my mother wont know she isnt home TO know. I just need someone there, if just for 5mins so I can feel normal.
I feel so bad, I cant be home alone but I feel so un social that I dont want to go out now, because I'm always home alone. I wanna go out to the city, I want to get away for a while. I get to be myself then. I get to go out how I want and just... be me. I dont know when the bell is going to go but I hope that I write as much as I can so maybe, just maybe I can feel better. But I doubt that will happen.
I want things to end for me, maybe I wont screw peoples lives up any more I wont hurt other people I dont know I think the only person I'm not doing it for is my mother.
I love the safety of this site, no one reads blogger accounts any more. well none of my friends. I dont want them to read it I dont want them to be all upset and stuff
that would just be too hard for me. i dont know everything is screwed
well I'm going to write another blog later
hated forever
candy
I have another rant and rave of how I'm feeling, and thats completely crap. I just want it to be Sunday, ffs. Why must I always torture myself with so many emotions, so many feelings. I have my necklace back from Ryan, we swapped back at lunch today. And we talked. And he told me he likes this girl he's always liked from Maryborough, and he told how he wanted them to go out , and how he wanted them to work, and that they may go to the same uni. and that really makes me feel like shit. its been two days and he's over me? LAST NIGHT HE TOLD ME HE STILL LOVED ME. My god. What do I do, I almost cried before.
My Cutting is getting worse. heaps worse
I just want it to stop, I wanna be able to stop cutting. I dont think I can, its starting to get normal again, I dont want to be how I was, I dont want to turn out like Lisa, or Jamie, or someone who relies on cutting every day. I am starting to scare myself. I need to get out, I need to go places, I dont want to be home anymore. I go home to an empty house 4 days a week. I sit on the computer, doing nothing, I play guitar all the time too, but thats about all.
I sit home alone 4 nights a week, on the computer playing guitar and cutting
wow eventful
doesnt sound that great to me
I want it to be sunday, I just want it to be sunday right now. On Sunday I am going to the city and spending time with Luke, I hope. I want to so bad. I am so thinking about wagging a whole day and just going to the city, hey my mother wont know she isnt home TO know. I just need someone there, if just for 5mins so I can feel normal.
I feel so bad, I cant be home alone but I feel so un social that I dont want to go out now, because I'm always home alone. I wanna go out to the city, I want to get away for a while. I get to be myself then. I get to go out how I want and just... be me. I dont know when the bell is going to go but I hope that I write as much as I can so maybe, just maybe I can feel better. But I doubt that will happen.
I want things to end for me, maybe I wont screw peoples lives up any more I wont hurt other people I dont know I think the only person I'm not doing it for is my mother.
I love the safety of this site, no one reads blogger accounts any more. well none of my friends. I dont want them to read it I dont want them to be all upset and stuff
that would just be too hard for me. i dont know everything is screwed
well I'm going to write another blog later
hated forever
candy
posted by candeh at 12:31 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home