love is just another word for pain
Title is from a Matchbook Romance song, sigh.
I dont know what to do anymore. I'm sick of guys, I'm sick of everything. I want to keep cutting myself and yeah just dealing with the pain, but I think I have come to a bigger and more mature realiseation than most. Such is life, Teenage years are the hardest, or so it appears, as of what adults say. Why do more damage?
I'm sick of everything though, I really am. I didnt want to face school today. I didnt want to have to go there, sit down, do work, listen to people and their life stories, do tests or practise tests, etc. I'm sick of going to school and having Keegan drape himself over me, I'm sick of seeing ryan and having to deal with everything going on, I'm sick of Sarah coming around hitting on me, I'm sick of other people telling me that everyone gawks at me, I'm just sick of everything. As I said, such Is Life.
I could do a whole massive blog starting each sentance with "I'm sick of", I just was tlaking to Dion on msn, I could keep going.
I want things, I just want things to be normal, if I could go back, I dont know how far I would go back just to change one little thing... I dont know...
I snapped at jamie coz I thouhgt she was snapping at me...ok I'll share the story about that...
this morning I get up, and I get this massive long text message from Ryan. Telling me he loves me and wants me back and all that jazz. that he misses me and he cant stop thinking about me, cant even stop dreaming about me. I dont even know how I feel, I'm sick of having people hit on me, I'm sick of being played around, I just... I want to be normal, I need to go to a party where I know no one, get drunk and just meet new people. I need to meet new people, cross everything bad out of my life. I want to like girls, I'm so sick of guys, I dont know if I can, I just dont see me as someone like that... I dont know.
enough of this.
I guess its good, I dont think people have read this, no one's commented, feel free to if you randomly read this and have an urge. abuse me if you want.
bye
I dont know what to do anymore. I'm sick of guys, I'm sick of everything. I want to keep cutting myself and yeah just dealing with the pain, but I think I have come to a bigger and more mature realiseation than most. Such is life, Teenage years are the hardest, or so it appears, as of what adults say. Why do more damage?
I'm sick of everything though, I really am. I didnt want to face school today. I didnt want to have to go there, sit down, do work, listen to people and their life stories, do tests or practise tests, etc. I'm sick of going to school and having Keegan drape himself over me, I'm sick of seeing ryan and having to deal with everything going on, I'm sick of Sarah coming around hitting on me, I'm sick of other people telling me that everyone gawks at me, I'm just sick of everything. As I said, such Is Life.
I could do a whole massive blog starting each sentance with "I'm sick of", I just was tlaking to Dion on msn, I could keep going.
I want things, I just want things to be normal, if I could go back, I dont know how far I would go back just to change one little thing... I dont know...
I snapped at jamie coz I thouhgt she was snapping at me...ok I'll share the story about that...
this morning I get up, and I get this massive long text message from Ryan. Telling me he loves me and wants me back and all that jazz. that he misses me and he cant stop thinking about me, cant even stop dreaming about me. I dont even know how I feel, I'm sick of having people hit on me, I'm sick of being played around, I just... I want to be normal, I need to go to a party where I know no one, get drunk and just meet new people. I need to meet new people, cross everything bad out of my life. I want to like girls, I'm so sick of guys, I dont know if I can, I just dont see me as someone like that... I dont know.
enough of this.
I guess its good, I dont think people have read this, no one's commented, feel free to if you randomly read this and have an urge. abuse me if you want.
bye
posted by candeh at 7:38 pm
1 comments
